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CALGARY, ALBERTA, CANADA
***UPDATED DAILY (IF THE EDITOR IS ON THE WAGON)***

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Lord Crowbar hired the wrong Greenspan

Last November, U.S. prosecutor Patrick ("Pit Bull") Fitzgerald persuaded a Chicago Grand Jury to indict Conrad, Lord Black of Cross Harbour, on 11 counts of theft and fraud. The Eye Opener would have bet the store that Black wouldn't dare cross the border to face the charges. Hadn't He learned His lesson - the great democracy to the south is distinctly unfriendly to wanna be aristocrats? Lord Conrad made a huge mistake in trying to milk U.S. investors in the first place. To repeat what the Eye Opener said over two years ago:

"But Black had made one mistake. He took to financing his ventures through New York investors. He did not understand American business. Warren Buffet style American business is based upon trust, upon democracy and upon compensation the old-fashioned way - actually earning it. The Toronto financial community and Black believed in exactly the opposite -remove value wherever found for as little as possible - shareholders are suckers to be taken to the cleaners."

Black should have known or his lawyer should have told Him that, unlike Canada, neither U.S. Federal prosecutors like Pit Bull Fitzgerald, nor the Securities and Exchange Commission (the "SEC") nor U.S. judges are beholden to big shots like Black. In fact U.S. prosecutors, the SEC and the judges gain sustenance and credibility by handing out stiff sentences to corporate crooks. He's made, we suspect, another big mistake in hiring glitzy society lawyer, Canadian TV "star" Eddie Greenspan. T.V. and Toronto society do not a lawyer make. Eddie persuaded his plutocratic client that Greenspan and his pal, Chicago lawyer Eddie Genson, would get Black off - have no fear, m'Lord - fly to Chicago and throw yourself on the mercy of the U.S. courts. When his Lordship arrived in Chicago, Fitzgerald took Him into custody, fingerprinted Him, hauled Him before a U.S. judge. The judge refused to release his Grace until Black put up bail in the sum of $20,000,000. Black was forced to turn over all his assets. And His lawyers persuaded Black to sign an Extradition Waiver - Black would no longer be able to use Canadian courts and His political connections to stay in Canada. 10 years ago when the U.S. government charged hockey impresario Alan Eagleson's with stealing from his clients, Alan was savvy enough to hire lawyer Brian Greenspan (Eddy's more talented brother). Brian wouldn't allow Al to cross the border and spent the next four years running the wheels off the case. The American prosecutors and their reluctant Canadian colleagues finally threw in the towel - Brian plea-bargained a short stay for Al in a Canadian country club "minimum security" jail. Thanks to Eddie, on the other hand, Lord Crowbar could end up spending the rest of His life in a U.S. penitentiary cell.

With due respect ma' Lord, you picked the wrong brother.

The Calgary Eye Opener


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