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Tuesday, October 27, 2020
   
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Conrad Black - The Return of the Prodigal Lord Crowbar
U.S. President Barak Obama has branded him a corporate welfare bum --- town gossips claim he is a trillionaire --- the Old Timer lives in subsidized housing and spends his days dumpster diving

05-Oct-06 -

In an op/ed in Saturday's Globe Halifax's Laura Penny speculates that Conrad Black's return to Canada as prodigal son may be a strategy to do time, Alan Eagleson style, in Canada versus 25 years as roommate to a little-fat-boy-loving-Bubba in San Quentin. Penny's advice to Lord Crowbar:

1. Don't sue Canada. You litigate with brio, but alas, this lacks the common touch.

2. Stay vernacular, my verbose friend. The "nice guy" quote is a good start. Words of two syllables (buddy, coffee) are good; one syllable (like, eh) is even better.

3. Trade in the bespoke suits and couture for Mark's Work Wearhouse and Tilley Endurables. If her Ladyship requires bling, direct her to the Home Shopping channel.

4. Immerse yourself in the zeitgeist. Watch every episode of Corner Gas and Canadian Idol. Strive for a state of affable Brent Butt-ness.

5. Consult Stephen Harper's hairdresser. Take Barbara too. Tranquillize her if you must.

6. Never appear in public without a double-double. Casually munch a doughnut whenever possible.

Lord Nonesuch is not the first Canadian to "make it big abroad", come home with his tail between his legs. Over one hundred years ago currently politically incorrect anglo Quebec "poet" William Henry Drummond (1854-1907)'s Batisse Trudeau the Habitant buys a 2nd class ticket to the States, makes the big time, comes home first class, fancy clothes, a beaver hat, fine gold watch chain, name changed to John B. Waterhole, lording it over the locals. But come a great depression in the States, Batisse returns in rags riding a freight train, goes back to work on his father's farm, lives happily ever after.

I got no use for State ... Kebeck she 's good enough for me--Hooraw pour Canadaw

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