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The Calgary Eye Opener Wednesday, October 21, 2020
 
!%@From the Long Bar at the Alberta Hotel@%!
Neanderthal/Bush Myth Misspoken - Misproven by awesomely respected Lovenstein Institute
The editor of The Mindapore Gazette . According to The Calgary Eye Opener of December 7, 1907, McGonigle "was educated at Toronto University, where he achieved brilliant results and finally took his degree of B.A. (Boozological Artist)."
I think it's safe to say that Obama will not get the Neanderthal vote.
Alexus in City-Data.com
21-Jul-08 -
READ MY LIPS - IT'S ALL AN URBAN MYTH -- GEORGE BUSH ISN'T A NEANDERTHAL AFTER ALL -- THE LOVENSTEIN INSTITUTE HAS PROVEN THAT THE NEANDERTHAL STRAIN DIED OUT 5,300 YEARS AGO  WHO'S THIS LOVENSTEIN INSTITUTE OUTFIT?
 
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HEADQUARTERED IN SCRANTON, PENNSYVANIA, USA, THAT'S WHO --- THERE'S NO MORE LEARNED, PRESTIGIOUS, AWESOME OUTFIT IN CHRISTENDOM --- IT'S BRIM FULL OF WORLD-CLASS DIGNITARIES --- IF THE LOVENSTEIN PROVES SOMETHING --- WHY --- IT'S A PROVEN!!! --- IT'S INCONTROVERTIBLE - IT'S GLOBAL CONVENTIONAL WISDOM --- IT'S SCIENCE --- IT'S PEER REVIEWED --- HERE'S THE REPORT --- RES IPSA LOQUITUR --- IT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF ....
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Peter McGonigle

The Lovenstein Institute
CENTER OF CONVENTIONAL WISDOM FOUNDATION

SCRANTON, Penn., USA
Saturday, July 19, 2008
1906 days since George Bush declared
"Mission Accomplished in Iraq"

Modern day human beings are NOT descended from Neanderthal Man nor does Neanderthal still live... there is no Neanderthal genetic link to any modern day homo-sapiens. Neanderthal died out 5,300 years ago and left no genetic descendants. Even though Neanderthal may have reached IQ levels of up to 93 (the median IQ of a human being is 100 but SOME have IQs of 93 and SOME human IQs are even lower), Neanderthal died out because she/he lacked the curiosity gene - she/he couldn't see the forest for the trees, suffered from HWS (the hard-wire syndrome) and from extreme dyslexia and never mastered the art of public speaking. Therefore, despite the above IQ correlation, the Lovenstein Institute of Genetic Science (LIGS) concludes that attempts to brand U.S. President George W. Bush as a missing link to Neanderthal are maliciously motivated by Bush-deniers/bashers, foreigners, atheists and Liberals.

These peer reviewed basic conclusions have been endorsed by at least thirty scientific societies and academies of science, including all of the national academies of science of the major industrialized countries and Bob Jones University. While individual scientists have voiced disagreement with some findings of the LIGS, the overwhelming majority of scientists working on this intelligent design project agree with the LIGS's main conclusions.

Using the institute's De Lorean/CanadaLeg three million jigowatt flux capacitor, a LIGS archaeologist, Dr. Elbert Wunmug actually journeyed to the tropical beaches of the Tuktoyaktuk Peninsula jutting into the Arctic Ocean in 3,300 B.C. and hoofed it into the Tuk settlement on the CanadaLeg. "It vus, fir shur, da imaginedeficiency syndrome' dat killed der Neanderthal," said Dr. Wunmug. He explained that the population he visited had benefited greatly from the global warmth of the time in which the Tuk Neanderthal lived. He described the Tuk environment as "ein wirtual Garten in der Eaten" style paradise. But, despite the easy living enjoyed by the Tuk Neanderthal, La Jefe (pronounced "HEFFAY"), the Queen of the Tuk, lusted after the massive reserves of calcopyrite 20 days journey south in the Yellowknife Guerrilla First Nation. And, to add insult to injury, 10 years before the events described, a Yellowknife First Nation Guerrilla had made mockery of one of Queen Jefe's husbands named Goofy. La Jeffe declared the Yellowknife Guerillas to be part of the "Axis of Evil" and declared war on these "Basic Bad Guys"; and ordered all of the Tuk Neanderthal Army (TNA) under the command of her son, Crown Prince Shucks, to, "with all due S&A (Shock and Awe), search out and destroy all of the Yellowknife Guerrilla terrorist insurgents". The result, however, was not S&A but W&B (Woe and Behold) for, after several years of guerrilla warfare, the Guerrillas defeated the Tuk Neanderthals and not one Tuk Neanderthal survived the conflict. The Guerrillas put even Jefe, Goofy and Shucks to the club, despite the fact that, when the going got tough, Jefe, Goofy and Shucks used their best efforts to collaborate with the enemy.

Skillfully, using the standard hockey stick analysis model called Electronic Data Societal Enterprise Locater or "EDSEL", Dr. Wunmug extrapolated the data from the La Jefe Neanderthal Scenario and arrived at the conclusion --- with a 98% coefficient of correlation, that all Neanderthal who had ever lived (none lived before 5315 B.C., the Year of Creation) conformed to the Tuk stereotype and had behaved exactly as the Tuk Neanderthal had and, therefore, "fir shur", all Neanderthals had self-extincted 5,300 years ago.

The DeLorean was developed with grants from the U.S. government and a vital part of the DeLorean was the CanadaLeg developed with funds supplied to Ottawa's Blackhole in Motion Corporation by the Government of Canada.

The main LIGS report was released by Dr. King Kar CC OBC LLD (UoPEI, hc) DSc (UoW, hc) DSc (AU, hc) LLD (TU, hc) LLD (UoC, hc) DHL (GSU, hc) DSc (LU, hc) DSc (MU, hc) LLD (QU, hc) DSc (CU, hc) DSc (AC, hc) DSc (GU, hc) DDL (OU, hc) DSc (WC, hc) DES (UC, hc) DDL (SFU, hc) DSc (YU, hc) DSc (UQAM, hc) DSc (FU, hc) DC, hc) DSc (RU, hc) DSc (UoM, hc) DSc (UoWO, hc), Chairman of the Foundation; Ms. Tara Lysenko, President of the Foundation and Ms. Kai Kar-Lysenko, Director-in-Chief of LIGS.

Nominations for Nobel Prizes for Dr. Kar CC OBC LLD (UoPEI, hc) DSc (UoW, hc) DSc (AU, hc) LLD (TU, hc) LLD (UoC, hc) DHL (GSU, hc) DSc (LU, hc) DSc (MU, hc) LLD (QU, hc) DSc (CU, hc) DSc (AC, hc) DSc (GU, hc) DDL (OU, hc) DSc (WC, hc) DES (UC, hc) DDL (SFU, hc) DSc (YU, hc) DSc (UQAM, hc) DSc (FU, hc) DC, hc) DSc (RU, hc) DSc (UoM, hc) DSc (UoWO, hc), Ms. Lysenko and Ms. Kar-Lysenko should be sent, as soon as possible to:
The Norwegian Nobel Committee
Henrik Ibsens gate 51
NO-0255 OSLO
Norway

The Lovenstein Institute of Scranton Pennsylvania is a think tank employing high caliber historians, psychiatrists, sociologists, scientists in human behavior, and psychologists. Among their ranks are Dr. Werner R. Lovenstein, world-renowned sociologist, and Professor Patricia F. Dilliams, a world-respected psychiatrist.

Since 1973, the Lovenstein Institute has published its research to the education community on various topics including the famous Presidential IQ Report among others. Reports are distributed to subscribing member universities and organizations within the education community.

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