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The Calgary Eye Opener Wednesday, October 21, 2020
!%@From the Long Bar at the Alberta Hotel@%!
What happened to the $75,000 - Mulroney told the truth - Mulroney v. Nixon
by Fly-on-the-wall on location
The best laid plans of mice and men ... can go awry
Robert Burns
13-Dec-07 -
The sun just don't rise in the west anymore. This propaganda business ain't what it used to be. Case in point ....

I flew me down to Ottawa last night. Strong head-winds - that nasty blizzard blastin' out of the east. Where all bad things come from. By the time I hit parliament hill - I was some tuckered and settled me down for the night on the committee room wall. Just to make sure there was no monkey business goin' on. And sure enough .....

15 minutes later the place was flooded with light and the doors burst open. In sprang Mulroney's two top propaganda communicators - casin' the joint for next day's hearing. Says the rolly-polly with the glasses and stars-an-stripes on one lapel and the cross of Jesus on the other --- to the little, pinchy-faced guy with the club foot and swastika in his lapel:

That Mulroney's gettin' rusty Herr Doktor. What's the first thing we all learned in communications class 101?

Why, of course Herr Rove: Article 1 of the Propaganda Society of America (PSA)'s Code of Ehics tells us to ..... DENY, DENY, DENY.

Well, my dear Herr Doktor, he's ADMITTED, ADMITTED, ADMITTED .... that he took $225,000 in three brown envelopes from a pretty shady fellow - Karlheinz Schreiber. What card'll we play doc?

Simple my dear Herr Rove - the Checkers Card.

Are you mixing your metaphors esteemed Herr Doktor?

What does Article 2 of the PSA Code of Ethics say Herr Rove.

Well, esteemed Herr Doktor - we all had to learn it by heart - along with the Lord's Prayer. In the words of your beloved Fuehrer, Herr Doktor: THE GREAT MASSES OF THE PEOPLE MORE EASILY FALL A VICTIM TO A BIG LIE THAN TO A LITTLE ONE.

Yes of course - that is sacred to us, Herr Rove and what does Article 3 of the PSA Code say?


Exactly Herr Rove. You must understand that the Checkers Card is simply the most classic application of Article 3. You will remember --- In 1952. Richard (Tricky Dicky) Nixon ran for president - on the coattails of Dwight (Ike) Eisenhower. He stormed the beaches on D-Day. When out of the blue you will remember, Herr Rove, the media - the Godless - the Red media. The Red media caught the future tricky-dicky president with his pants down. Harvesting big stooks of $1,000 bills in envelopes from a bunch of rich folk. The Reds caught him red handed. Ike decided to fire Tricky. At that point Tricky played the Checkers Card. One Texan moneybags had given Nixon not only cash - also a little cocker spaniel named Checkers. For his kids. Well, from that little lemon Tricky made lemonade - on national TV he went with Frau Nixon at his side. "The Reds are demanding I give the dog back. My children love the doggie. The Red's want me to return the dog. I won't - I refuse - they can do with me as they want - I won't give back the dog. And of course, in the good old days - when the sun always rose in the west, Herr Rove - in 1952 - of course the great masses of the American people forgot - and Dwight Eisenhower forgot - and the media - those who weren't blacklisted - forgot about the $1,000 bills and the envelopes. And Nixon was back on the team and he and Dwight Eisenhower won the presidential election of 1952.

So here's how I have prepared our plan for tomorrow, Herr Rove. We'll play that Checkers Card Herr Rove.The Right Honourable Mulroney will enter the room. Behind him will be all his Right Honourable children and his Right Honourable frau. The family will march to the front of the room - HERE - The Right Honourable will be seated HERE. And the family will be seated HERE. I tell you - when he testifies, behind him they will all be - to the television audience - he will be as good a god-fearing family man as Mr. and Mrs. Canada have ever met. And he'll talk in a deep voice and cry and whine about how the committee and the media are victimizing him. And what about you Herr Rove? What have you done on your end of the operation?

Here's what I've done. I've spent hours and hours in the Prime Ministers Office - giving choir practice to those two nice Tories, David Tilson and Russ Hiebert. I told them what to say - I had it typed out in large print. I ordered them not to stray "off message". We practiced and practiced. If questions were getting tough for the Right Honourable to answer - I told them to jump in with points of order like Senator Joe McCarthy used to do. I told them to waste as much of the committee's time as possible. I ordered them to run the wheels off the committee.

Were Herr Doktor and Herr Rove ever happy with themselves. Said Herr Rove to Herr Doktor quoting Mencken:

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the [Canadian] people.

Herr Doktor limped over to Herr Rove and planted a big hug on him. And the two danced and limped out of the committee room - arm-in-arm. And turned out the lights - and I fell right asleep.

Well, what da ya know - the best laid plans of mice and men - can come to naught. The Mulroneys tried to march in lookin' like as decent a God-fearing, patriotic family as you'd find on the face of the earth. Then a multilingual, non-English-non-French-speaking security guard slowed em up and broke em up by checking each one of their passports. And the committee assigned Mulroney's family seats way back from Mulroney. And what da' ya' know but the TV cameras were fixed so they couldn't zoom in on the family. The great masses never once saw the family. And the fidgeting little chairman of the committee, Paul Szabo, stopped Tilson and Hiebert from doing any harm - except to Stephen Harper.

In the end, according to a poll, only 10% of the great masses of the people believed Mulroney while 30% believed Schreiber. It wasn't only the fault of Mulroney's propaganda team. I blame Mulroney himself. I don't know about the great masses of the American people in 1952 but I do know that the great masses of the Canadian people in 2007 chortle when some smoothy - former prime minister or not - trys to feed them lies like these:

    :-) there's nothing very suspicious about Karlheinz handin' you 75 to 100 $1,000 bills in a brown legal-sized envelopes in hotel rooms - on three separate occasions - or saying you stored the bills in safety deposit boxes for six years - we never did learn where the New York city box was located - and didn't pay tax on them till Karlheinz got found out (-:
  • :-) the only contact you ever had with Karlheinz was an occasional cup of coffee although the lobbyist gave him $225,000 - "sugar ... Herr Mulroney? cream? cash?" (-:
  • :-) when Karlheinz tried to blackmail you last spring, you didn't call in the cops (-:

So I flew back to the Alberta Hotel on that cold evil eastern tail wind. When I got to the Long Bar, Custer wasn't up on the wall. A pink elephant belonging to Bob Edwards had replaced him so I found a comfortable spot on the elephant's head. Bob hadn't watched the committee - he had been too busy with the pink elephant. When I told Bob what had happened - he didn't know it was me talking to him - he thought it was the elephant. The elephant asked Bob his opinion. Answered he:

There's one other lie Canadians won't believe ... :-) Harper's claim that he and Mulroney aren't working together (-: ... Tilson and Hiebert disproved that - by their actions. It didn't help that one looks like an aging gigolo - the kind who hangs around cruise ships in Victoria Harbour - trolling for rich widows. And the other looks like a hustling young undertaker from Steinbach, Manitoba - the kind who sells purloined cadavers to schools of chiropractic. It was pretty obvious that they were running interference for Mulroney. And were on on a tight leash from Prime Minister Harper's office - that's where their game plan and scripts had been written. And, therefore, Harper and Mulroney were working hand-in-hand - in cahoots. So Tilson and Hiebert tarred Harper with the same brush as Mulroney. They've just lost the next federal election for him. Harper could well be the end of Toryism in Canada.

Paddy piped in - in that decent way he has about him - most often when talking about fellow Irishmen who have gone astray:

Bob - Harper's in a tight spot. If Harper doesn't help Mulroney - the Red Tories and the old P.C.s - Mulroney lobbies them every day - will revolt - led by Peter McKay. Mulroney'll make sure of that.

As a connoisseur of politicos - Paddy. Compare Mulroney to Nixon.

No comparison, Bob. Both of them have used the "I'm no crook" defense. There the similarity ends. Mulroney's a crook - sure - so's lots of fine politicians. But Mulroney's a decent man - ya' know Bob - crooks can be decent men or women. Proof of that is what he - courageously - single handedly - did to free an innocent man - David Milgaard - he had nothing to gain from it - he did it because it was the decent and just and kind thing to do. You can tell from the sparkle in his eye - to be sure somewhat glazed over by the worries of the world he's created for himself - but the sparkle of a kind Irishman - and what a sense of humour he has. He can laugh at himself. He loves people though he's - surprisingly - a bit shy. He's a lot better in a small group than speakin' to a crowd - where he looks pompous and tries to play the big shot - pompousness and Mr. Big - that's what Canadians still hate about him. If they knew him well they wouldn't.

On the other hand, Nixon was an outright malevolent, paranoid, warped psychopath. An evil man. If, at Watergate, the U.S. Congress and the U.S. Constitution hadn't stopped him - he would have become a Stalin. Though he grew up in the age of propaganda, Mulroney's no Stalin, Bob. May God have mercy upon Mulroney. Only God knows what'll happen to his poor lost soul.

One last question, Paddy. Why do ya' think Karlheinz says he gave Mulroney $300,000 but Mulroney says he got only $225,000.

As an old lawyer and a student of human nature I know the answer, Bob. Mulroney, for once, is telling the truth. Karlheinz pocketed the extra $75,000 - as Mulroney would say - Karlheinz "integrated" it. Classic underworld double-cross, Bob.

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